When you hear the word ethics, do you feel a little bored? Or perhaps a little worried you might be getting it wrong?

In this episode of the Good Enough Counsellors podcast, I had the pleasure of talking with Heather Dale — a seasoned therapist, supervisor, and Fellow of the BACP, who also writes the Good Practice in Action guides. Together, we explored what it really means to work ethically in therapy — and why ethics might be more interesting than you think. (In Heather’s words, “Ethics is definitely more interesting than a cup of tea!”)

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What is an Ethical Dilemma?

One of the first things Heather explained was that not everything that feels difficult in our work is actually an ethical dilemma. An ethical dilemma happens when two principles from the ethical framework come into conflict. For example, when a client’s autonomy clashes with your responsibility to do no harm.

Heather shared the six key principles from the BACP framework: 

• Trustworthiness 
• Autonomy
• Beneficence
• Non-maleficence
• Justice
• Self-respect (sometimes now called self-care, though she notes they’re slightly different). 

Understanding these principles – and spotting when they come into conflict – is at the heart of working ethically.

I’ve Got a Dilemma – What Should I Do?

So what should you do when you’re faced with a decision and you’re not sure what’s ethical? 

Heather’s golden rule is to talk to your supervisor. She also suggests writing a dilemma down or talking it through with someone trusted – it can help you see things more clearly than in your own head.

It’s why having an accessible, responsive supervisor is vital – especially in moments of uncertainty or urgency.

Is it Ethical to Give a Client a Gift?

We explored the common (and well-intentioned) idea of gifting clients a book or small item at the end of therapy. Heather encouraged us to think about the principle of justice – would you give every client a gift? If not, what message does that send?

She also raised the issue of non-maleficence – could a gift extend the relationship beyond its boundaries? Could it lead to further contact that blurs lines?

Small things often carry more weight than we expect in the therapeutic space. So while it’s not always a hard no, it’s definitely a situation to think through carefully.

What if I Disagree with my Supervisor?

We discussed what happens if you disagree with your supervisor on something ethical. For trainees, there are times when Heather has to say, “this is non-negotiable.” 

For experienced therapists, supervision becomes more collaborative, but if the disagreement is about a core ethical issue and can’t be resolved, it might be time to consider whether you’re a good match.

Confidentiality after Death – Does it Still Apply?

Another interesting question was: does confidentiality continue after a client’s death? 

Heather’s answer is yes – generally, confidentiality remains in place. She recommends being cautious and compassionate. You might say something kind, like “they always spoke warmly of you,” but details should be withheld. 

And if you’re ever asked to release notes, be clear on who is asking. A solicitor doesn’t have the same authority as a judge.

The Ethics of Bumping into Clients in the Community

Working in a small town? You may be likely to bump into clients outside the therapy room. 

Heather’s advice is to talk about the possibility at the start of therapy and ask clients how they’d prefer to handle it. Some will want a hello, others may prefer you act like you don’t know them  – it’s about autonomy and respect.

She also reminded us: clients are usually less bothered than we are. It’s often the therapist who feels more exposed or unsure.

Should I Report a Colleague?

This was a really nuanced conversation. Heather recommended first raising concerns directly, if possible, and encouraging the colleague to speak to their supervisor. If the situation is serious and you’re considering a formal complaint, you’ll need strong evidence.

You’re not obliged to report someone for every misstep – but you do have a responsibility to reflect and take action when appropriate.

Why Ethics Isn’t About “Being Right”

One of my favourite takeaways from our conversation was Heather’s description of counselling as “a high-wire act.” Every time we open our mouths, there’s a risk. And it’s our ethics that guide us through – not as a rigid rulebook, but as a compass.

And if you make a mistake? That doesn’t make you unethical. But reflecting, learning, and repairing – that’s where the ethics really lie.

Further Support

If this conversation has got you reflecting on your own practice, and you sometimes worry whether you’re “doing it right” – you’re not alone. Ethics can feel like a tightrope, but you don’t have to walk it alone.

Come and join us in the Good Enough Counsellors community on Facebook – it’s a supportive space for therapists who want to grow their confidence, get practical help with private practice, and know they’re not the only ones figuring things out as they go.

You don’t have to be perfect to be a good therapist. You just have to be willing to keep learning – and that’s exactly what we’re doing, together.

To learn more about Heather Dale, visit heatherdalecounselling.co.uk.